Fell

I'm sick of being alone


I'm ashamed of myself


I feel stupid that I fell for something that I shouldn't be fallen for


but I do know one thing
I'm strong and I know it, pain won't hurt me like yesterday did

RKPS

When the amphibia attacks

sorry long time no post
got no mood, got no time so well yeah haha
my mid-semester report card went quite well, I got the 9th rank and my math physics biology and chemistry score is quite nice. Although I can't be happy, yet. I still have to fight hard for final exam on December, and I'm sooooo lazy to study.
Hmm well last week there was a runaway frog at my lovely class XI IPA H, everyone jumped to their table, some of the boys ran out of our class instantly, it was quite funny and exclaimed actually haha. And Diana bravely capture that frog. She was so cool hahaha.
oh I haven't tell you about tesis long long time ago, well the topic has expired soooo, sorry I'm too lazy to post it hahaha
well gotta do my assignments, cheerio

Perspective

There's a situation where stars are not the thing you wished for
There's the time when you wish for something modest, something not too complicated
There's always something missing in your life, and stars are not the proper thing to fill the spot

Sometimes, you need a one-person-to-rely-on
Someone who doesn't really get you all the time, but realizes when something's wrong about you in a very quick gaze
Someone who never knows what wise-enough-stuffs-to-say when you're consulting your problems, but can always make you realizes there's still a shed of light to see

It doesn't really matter if that one person commented something really-unbelievably-sarcastic on you that it makes you wanna got hit by a truck
If it's the way that person show how he/she cares about you, then that's it
The point is that person care

Better than people who hide behind some lie about caring-for-us
They pretend, oh boy they pretend real real good
But when you're down, you need something more than people around you feel sorry for you
You don't need people who say with their mouth that they got your back no matter what when all that is a big fat lie
When all that is just to use you for their own business, they shouldn't really bother saying anything

You'll need someone who truthfully say with their heart, "I'll always be there for you"
That someone doesn't need a mouth to say it
That person can show you that he/she will always be there for you

Favor Person

Yesterday, few things happened to me. So many tragedies that merely turn my head crying to sleep. People do favors one to another, but should it be continuous all the time? Lunatic person don't know what's around them. What other people need and what other people care. I am not lunatic. I do care what other people need, I do try to help them. But they just can't discover the truth, they keep opposing the truth. The truth make 'em become obsessed and overbearing. Sometimes it just makes them a two-faced-god-damned bastard. The thing that makes it harder is when you're suddenly the filling of a friends-for-favors-only sandwich. Meet the bread. It looks delicious from the outside, boy the texture is so like heaven, smells so great it could make you fly to the air. But once it goes down your throat, it'll make you choke hard and harder each day. Right now I'm telling you I ain't kidding. The choking hurts so bad, seems like the bread is dunking your head right into the toilet right at that moment.
It hurts, a lot.

Story of a girl with swollen eyes

A girl woke up with swollen eyes, she cried herself to sleep last night. She didn't catch the reason why, nor nobody else. But she pretty much sure there are too many burden to endure in her life. She has an illness. That illness is just dire : she can't say no to anyone. People around her can always compel her to do something that she doesn't wanna do. She's forced to live with obligations that she shouldn't have. But stupidly, she always says yes. The word that makes people around her pleased but inside, she's desperately screaming.

That illness just can't be cured. That illness brings suffers in someone who have it, but joy for people around them. When you try to fight that illness, you'll feel guilty. Like everyone around you just hate you. In your eyes you'll see everyone starring and throwing a very unpleasant abhorrent gaze.

Beastly, there are few people(particularly boys) who dare to abuse that girl. People might say that girl is not very appealing. But few of her friends(the pretty girls) have this crazy-not-so-secret-admirer. And just like you guessed, that few beastly people(boys) who have the crazy-not-so-secret-crush asked her to talk her friend into going out with him. The illness started acting up. She really want to say no, she does. She really struggled hardly to do so. But she just can't face the unpleasant abhorrent gaze. It's not that the girl's not sincere enough to do her friends(boys) favors, but she already knew what would happen if she help 'em....

• First off, that few boys will make the girl with the illness feels happy and feels like she'll always have bestfriend to lean on. That few boys pretty much "pretend" to be nice, to be very caring just like that girl's own brother. Very nicely done illusion to present actually. But the thing is, the illusion in having someone care for her just makes her illness degenerate.

• Secondly, that few boys consult all their troubles to the girl. Especially all their troubles in getting that girl's friends(the pretty girls). The girl sincerely respond and do anything possible to help that few beastly boys. But the girl with the illness is not a very good moderator. so,

• Lastly, that few beastly boys don't get the girl's friends(the pretty girls), and they(the boys) can always find a way to disappear from the girl's life silently in a very smooth move.

And that's just shallow.

That's the reason she really wants to say no to that favor. At first she doesn't mind at all. She thinks she can let go of this illness smooth and easily. But nowadays that girl's freakin tired. She's tired of being pushed around. She's tired of loosing friends that doesn't really want to be her friend. She's tired of those shallow creatures who "pretend" to be her close-even-best-friend just took her for granted.

And there she goes, lonely. Her body is trembling. She doesn't hear anything but a repugnant fakers who keep asking her to do things she doesn't wanna do. Doesn't have non-faker-someone-close to lean on. Struggling to fight her illness, alone.
That just blows.

sorry for the confusing terrible post

school?

Woke up this morning at 5 am, imagined already that today's gonna be worse. How could it not be? It's the first day of school for god sake. Arrived at school at 5.52 and headed toward the stairs. Before I ascended the stairs I met Pras. And the first thing he asked me was "hey did you study during the holiday for the midterm? what's the homework for today, any test?" and I was like "oh my god it's just the first day of school, geez". And what's on my mind was "oh god, the every-school-day-routines has started already?". I know I know in less than 4 days we'll face our goddamned midterm week, but can't we just take 5 seconds breathe before we work our butts off for the midterm?

Anyway, back to the story, well it's not a story it's a nonevent actually. We arrived at our lovely class XI IPA H. Then came Kevin, Cici and Ishi. Cici told us that maybe we'll go home early today. He asked one of our school's employee and got the information that we'll go home at 9 am. I felt so delighted. Then came Khaula. She heard about the glorious-story and she's so excited too. And then many of my class member came and suddenly they started writting. I wonder what they're doing, so Khaula asked people around us, and guess what. They did mathematics homework, golly gee what a good grief. Thank God I did that homework few weeks ago so I can sit back and relax. Everyone was so busy at that moment.

The bell rang, and Mrs. Tati came to our class. We all felt bewildered because Mrs. Tati wasn't our class teacher. And she took the attendance and she mention that we all have to go to the field, and shake our hands one to another in order to say sorry for all the sins that we have done. We were all so excited and regreted going to school today.
The handshake only took 30 minutes, and the school told us to go home. Right, go home, that's all. It's a miracle that 8 Senior High let us go. Usualy after handshake we go back to our class and study as usual. It really is a miracle. I can't believe I woke up at 5 am just for this. 30 minutes at school, oh what a joy.

Happy birthday my ex-chairmate woohoooowww

her face is elastic, she loves to jape, she's shrewd, guess what? it's her bornday! wiwiwiwiw
who's she anyway? might as well see for yourself

(clue : it's her on the left side)

now isn't she adorable?

full name : Hasya Amana Riyanto Sofyan Sutan Ponda.....(I can't remember the last one hahaha)
nick name : elastic face, well just go by Hasya these days
birth : 30 September 1993
super-power : memorizing words, lots and lots of words
achievements : 4 times national elastic-face competition winner, 5 times national shrill-voiced championship winner

She was my friend at elementary, and we got seperated by 5 years, and we met again at 8 Senior High. And unluckily she had to face 6 months of burden in being my chairmate. She had to face my tendency rambling for 6 months, can you imagine?

well I got nothin more to say, just
HAPPY SWEET 16th BIRTHDAY MY DEAR HASYAAAAA, WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST

sincerely, Ratih

cutest teeth ever

you know what, you MUST SEE THIS!







god aren't they the cutest?
grab the adventures of ickle and Lardee here
I don't know who he/she is(the writer), I got the link from my junior high friend, and when I opened it, I was like aww this is the best and cutest pictures ever---~~ I guarantee you will receive a breath taking kids-story-kind when you open the link
try it!

waste

Nothing excites me nowadays. In fact things seems to be boring these days. That's why you just see boring posts like this one. I suppose I should study for the dire-mid-term-weeks thingy, but it just does not feel right to study at holidays. I go online, and watch movies everyday. I actually won the all time movie marathon award ye know haha. Well perhaps I'm hitting the physics and chemistry later on.
ugh I really got nothing to write about. don't worry soon or later I'll delete this garbage post.

bukpus dimanamana

ya makin deket lebaran makin banyak acara bukpus bareng which means makin jarang solat tarawih di masjid -_______- huahahaha tp seru siiiih

bukpus 1 : XI IPA H
yang ini seru abis anak XI IPA H gaul gaul fotonya ada 130an lebih wuihihihi sabi kan tuh XI IPA H emang KOMPAK (Y)
cowok2 XI IPA H tiba2 jadi artis dadakan, semua minta foto ya sama cici lah sama hanifi sama pras wah rame deh pokoknya, terus makannya pake sop buah ENAK BUNGUT, risolnya cahyo MANTAP GAN, ayam lemes (oke ini sebenernya ayam keremes tapi gara2 keremesnya udah lembek gitu jadi gue namai ini ayam lemes) trs ada macem2 lagi ada puding buah gitu, ada kue apaa gitu, trs minumnya ada aqua dan teh kotak. terus kita yang dateng banyaaaak banget.
BUKPUS XI IPA H MEMANG PALING ASYIK!
ini dia foto2nya







the hungry omnivores hahaha


(entah kenapa di foto ini gue merasa muka gue mirip esther ASTAGHFIRULLOOOOH JANGAN SAMPEEEE)





yak ini adalah saat dimana cowok2 jadi badut ancol dadakan, semua cewek2 minta foto2 sama doi ahahahaha


with my dear chairmate khaula (aww) :D







THIS IS US!! yippieeee

snapshots by : Aldisa and Khaula's camera

bukpus selanjutnya (bukpus 2) adalah BUKPUS TATRAAAAAA yihiiiiyyy
bukpus tatra diselenggarakan di rumah afifah yang berlokasi di daerah cipinang. gue berangkat sama ayu dan putri dijemput mobil putri di rumah mutia trs pulang naik mobil fafa dianter sampai rumah. (gamodal? yak betul) hahahaha
dress code : white polite
bukpusnya seruuuu bangeeeeettt, tatra 2012 niat2 bangeeeet selamat yaaa tatra 2012 sayaaaang :D
mereka bikin pin tatra gitu lucu deeeh, trs bikin SPANDUK!!!! trs kameranya betebaran dimana2 fotonya ada banyak hahaha trs kita main tebak siapa aku seru deeeeh. ini foto yg bareng2nya aja yaaaaa


ini dia SPANDUKNYA niat banget kaaaan awww tatra 2012 maaci yaaaaa :)




hiyah yang ini pada belom siap hahaha

lihat di sebelah riri ada anak kecil, itu adeknya afifah yang bernama ama. dia didoktrin oleh riri buat bikin geng namanya "aloha girls" HAHAHA


yang ini lagi main tebak siapa aku! asik deh hahaha

(Y)

ini dia tatra SMAN 8 :D love you all

snapshots by : tatra 2012's cameras

bukpus 3 : HARI KELAHIRAN GUEEEE AWWW
jadi hari ini gue sore2 ke sekolah ngumpul sama teman2 xb, terus lanjut ke futcy
di futcy nontonin cowok2 main bola, buka puasa, solat aaaaand arum dan hasya tiba2 dateng membawakan gue kue coklat bertuliskan "HAPPY 15 BOLIS DAY" awwwwww love you all :)))
yah buat yang bertanya bolis itu apa tanya aja sama anak rohis oke? hahaha


it's me! the birthday girl huihihihi :D


yak bisa dilihat ini kuenya, betapa adorablenya arum dan hasya dengan menuliskan "Happy 15 BOLIS day" huihihihi but I love it :D

this is me making wish

okay confession time, gue gabisa memotong kue.................hahahahahaha jadi gue motong cuma formalitas doang, sisanya potong sendiri2 hahahahahah



sebenernya gue gak tega makan tulisan happy BOLIS day nya, tapi daripada meleleh yaaaa apa boleh buat hahahaha

nah mulai yang ini foto2nya di hokben




(sebenernya ada foto gue sama anak2 kecil yg gue paksa2 buat foto sama gue tp blm di upload, ntar gue tambahin ya hahahaha)

ini dia x-b!!!

snapshots by : Arum's camera

yaaaa that's all, had a blast with all of em huihihih LOVE YOU ALL MUAAAAH :D

15

happy 15th birthday to me!!!! yippieeee
thank you for all of you who has congratulate me, aww you're all such a sweet people, love you mon frere :D I'm so very happy at this moment
and what'll make me happier is the fact that I'm going to spend my birthday with my X-B partner! yieeeeyyyy
and guess what
Alwina Putri Utami even made a post about me! gee she's such a sweetheart(seneng lo win?) huihihihi
click here to see it!

14

as you see, this second I'm still 14 years old, and god I love the number 14, I was born at 14 september 1994 and yes in a few minutes I'll be 15 years old aww, I really love the number 14.
Well I hope this year will be better than last year :)

one disordered post for a "friend"

We met in Junior High, we became friends, best friends. Now we're in High School, things doesn't seem to be the same. Some of the people try to be famous. And one of them, is you.
At first I used to look up to you. You're very mature and NOT trying to be one of those "you-know-what". And when we entered the eleventh grade things just doesn't seem right. Especially when I'm perceiving you....
you......
you changed
you never spin a yarn on me anymore.
If there's something wrong with you, everyone knows
everyone, except me.
And you know what's even "better"?
I know all the story about you from someone who is not you.
face it girl, we were best friend.
You all know the simplest-most-important-cliche thing for a best friend.............you share everything together.
Best friends should share happiness, burden, sorrow, trouble, sunshine, and many more...................together
And now I'm hearing all your trouble and happiness from someone else.
You don't want to share it with me anymore.
what's up girl? cat got your tongue and you can't talk about it with me?
I understand you want to be one of those "you-know-what", I mean who doesn't.
But kill everything do you have to be this nasty and obnoxious?
damn
I never thought I'd said all this stuffs to you, well as for the record you'll never read this one
cause actually you won't care.
I want things to be the way it used to. I want you to be my friend, again. But you chose not to. And I can do nothing about it. So guess it's official, we're not best friend anymore.

Sorry for this emotional and melancholy post. I'm so dejected.

this is what made my day yesterday

yep just like what you see. Yesterday my brother came home from USA, and I gotta admit I was not so pleasant in welcoming him. I kept frowning and grumbling all the time. At first, yesterday was not the most pleasant day ever. Well well my family broke fasting together at penang bistro. I didn't talk much and kept frowning. Aaaaand here's where the big surprise went, we all arrived home my brother started giving the gifts. And he gave me this bag, and I opened it, and tadaaaaaaa here comes this orange 8 GB iPod. My lips turned from frown to grin hehehehehehe. I thank my brother so much. I never thought he'd be that nice hahaha, thank you bro, this really made my day :DDD

I named this iPod(temporarily) : nano-ranger, well actually I'm looking for something unique-er, any suggestions?

25 facts you might wanna (or already) know about me

1. The name is Ratih Kemala Pertiwi Siahaan, and you can call me Ratih, please don't call me with kemala or tiwi or something else weird
2. My friends gave me so many nicknames such as : rarolly, bolis, WALNUT, bugsy, donut, polar bear etc. (you can ask me for the meaning of each nicknames haha)
3. I do love internet, a lot. Internet can always made my day.
4. I enjoy windows live messenger as a blather device better than yahoo messenger.
5. I tweet a lot these days.
6. I...can't....draw......... yep everytime in art class I was like giddy and footworn, and I felt like crying all the time haha
7. I prefer counting numbers much much better than memorizing words. In fact I hate memorizing words.
8. My older brother is such a pain in the ass not anymore, he's actually nice (sometimes) haha.
9. I do saman dancing at school.
10. Perhaps this is nuts but I do enjoy interfering with others works, if they ask me favor, I'll do it wholeheartedly until that favor is fulfilled hehe :D
11. I hate assignments cause it's not important and has nothing to do with knowledge.
12. Chemistry always had the biggest space on my mind when it comes to the test, luckily I passed the first formative test this month.
13. Fitri 'jenaka' helped me a lot with my physics and now I think that physics is not that hard, actually I love physics nowadays hihi :D
14. Still haven't figured out which major that I want for college.
15. I'm deadly afraid of bloods :o
16. My favorite dish is sushi. Perhaps I'm a lil bit addicted to it.
17. I only wear my glasses at class or at a movie.
18. I never enjoy watching scary movies such as ORPHAN, or something else that involves blood or ghosts.
19. I'm one year younger for my grade. Figured out that I'm gonna be 17 when I've entered college.
20. I don't like being alone.
21. I play the piano but I got no time to practice now so.........I'm dumb at it haha
22. I interpolate my verbs by reading people's blog.
23. My parents still monitor how and when I study and also all of my scores at school.
24. My parents usually eavesdrop me at phonecalls, and to be true I hate it, that's why maybe when some of you called me, I speak so soft and concise.
25. I often stay up late like today xoxoxo.

well well that's all I guess. My brother's coming home tomorrow, means..........no more staying up late going online cause he's plundering me everytime I use the internet, damn.

any comment about the 25 facts you might wanna (or already) know about me?

First Earthquake

yak hari ini seperti yang orang orang ketahui : GEMPAAAAAA
tiap orang pasti punya ceritanya masing masing, cerita gue?

jadi seumur-umur gue belum pernah merasakan yang namanya gempa hingga tadi sore

gue ypm untuk teori seperti biasa, terus disuruh ngerjain soal lalalala not important, gue catet soalnya dulu kan terus tiba2 gue merasa 'kok geter ya?' tapi ya gue kira itu karena banyak anak-anak kecil di ypm yang pecicilan dan tidak bisa diam semua jadi ya gue diem aja
terus ijan ngomong ke gue 'gempa ya?'
terus tiba2 kakak2nya yang di depan dan anak2 kecil itu ngomong 'gempa ya?'
terus gue dengan santainya ngomong 'iya gempa' dan melanjutkan nyatet soal bagaikan gaada yang terjadi hahaha
padahal itu geternya udah kenceng, udah berasa satu ypm itu berjalan makanya jadi geter2 gitu, pada pusing, ijan panik 'GUE BELOM TOBAAAT'
dan gue baru sadar kalo geternya emang kenceng haha, terus gue juga jadi ikutan bilang gue belom tobat, tapi gue ketawa (?) akhirnya kakak yang didepan menyuruh kita keluar ruangan
keluarlah kita lalalala ngobrol-ngobrol heboh panjang lebar, abis gempa berenti kirain kita boleh pulang, eh taunya tetep disuruh les, yaampun kak gamau rugi amat hahaha -__________-

sepulang ypm gue masuk mobil, pas di jalan tiba-tiba hp gue bergetar dan layarnya bertuliskan
Syarif
calling

gue kira mau ngomongin gempa atau apa gitu yang berhubungan dengan gempa
ternyata...
S(syarif) : Assalamualaikum
R(gue) : Waalaikumsalam
S : teh lagi sibuk gak?
R : lagi di jalan, kenapa rip?
S : lo tau gak siapa ketua schoolympic taun blablabla(gue lupa hahah)
R : gatau hahaha
S : oooh gitu....hmmm.........ya makasih ya
R : iya
R : (sit there feel bewildered)
GAK NYAMBUUUUUUNG RIIIIIP HAHAHAHAHA, dimana mana lagi hot gempa dia ngomongin apa huakakakakakak

yeah well that's my story, how bout you?