absurd

How's your life? mine? absurd
It's like a never ending routines, well whatever I'm not gonna whine, it doesn't even matter anyway

I've been cogitating for something I don't understand
some people say 'why?', some say 'why not?', and some say 'err I don't know, it's up to you'
well I'm the third one
I'm not assertive enough to decide something. It's like there's this two way path and I always bewilder and stuck in the middle of those. Nevertheless, I still have to and I did. I did choose, but from my record I always ended up at one path, but then all out of a sudden I have moved to the other path. And just small turbulence can make me move back to my old path. Even though I've struggled hard enough not to move, my body shivered and it went all blurry so I closed my eyes. And when I opened it, I've moved.
I know it sounded a bit superfluous, but it has been shackling my mind lately. Any thoughts?
well don't bother me anyway, I'm not really in predicament. I'm actually a bit happy these days, I don't know the reason why but I'm just h-a-p-p-y, well maybe it's because of *beep* :) (whoever *beep* is, you don't need to know :p)