Perspective

There's a situation where stars are not the thing you wished for
There's the time when you wish for something modest, something not too complicated
There's always something missing in your life, and stars are not the proper thing to fill the spot

Sometimes, you need a one-person-to-rely-on
Someone who doesn't really get you all the time, but realizes when something's wrong about you in a very quick gaze
Someone who never knows what wise-enough-stuffs-to-say when you're consulting your problems, but can always make you realizes there's still a shed of light to see

It doesn't really matter if that one person commented something really-unbelievably-sarcastic on you that it makes you wanna got hit by a truck
If it's the way that person show how he/she cares about you, then that's it
The point is that person care

Better than people who hide behind some lie about caring-for-us
They pretend, oh boy they pretend real real good
But when you're down, you need something more than people around you feel sorry for you
You don't need people who say with their mouth that they got your back no matter what when all that is a big fat lie
When all that is just to use you for their own business, they shouldn't really bother saying anything

You'll need someone who truthfully say with their heart, "I'll always be there for you"
That someone doesn't need a mouth to say it
That person can show you that he/she will always be there for you

Favor Person

Yesterday, few things happened to me. So many tragedies that merely turn my head crying to sleep. People do favors one to another, but should it be continuous all the time? Lunatic person don't know what's around them. What other people need and what other people care. I am not lunatic. I do care what other people need, I do try to help them. But they just can't discover the truth, they keep opposing the truth. The truth make 'em become obsessed and overbearing. Sometimes it just makes them a two-faced-god-damned bastard. The thing that makes it harder is when you're suddenly the filling of a friends-for-favors-only sandwich. Meet the bread. It looks delicious from the outside, boy the texture is so like heaven, smells so great it could make you fly to the air. But once it goes down your throat, it'll make you choke hard and harder each day. Right now I'm telling you I ain't kidding. The choking hurts so bad, seems like the bread is dunking your head right into the toilet right at that moment.
It hurts, a lot.

Story of a girl with swollen eyes

A girl woke up with swollen eyes, she cried herself to sleep last night. She didn't catch the reason why, nor nobody else. But she pretty much sure there are too many burden to endure in her life. She has an illness. That illness is just dire : she can't say no to anyone. People around her can always compel her to do something that she doesn't wanna do. She's forced to live with obligations that she shouldn't have. But stupidly, she always says yes. The word that makes people around her pleased but inside, she's desperately screaming.

That illness just can't be cured. That illness brings suffers in someone who have it, but joy for people around them. When you try to fight that illness, you'll feel guilty. Like everyone around you just hate you. In your eyes you'll see everyone starring and throwing a very unpleasant abhorrent gaze.

Beastly, there are few people(particularly boys) who dare to abuse that girl. People might say that girl is not very appealing. But few of her friends(the pretty girls) have this crazy-not-so-secret-admirer. And just like you guessed, that few beastly people(boys) who have the crazy-not-so-secret-crush asked her to talk her friend into going out with him. The illness started acting up. She really want to say no, she does. She really struggled hardly to do so. But she just can't face the unpleasant abhorrent gaze. It's not that the girl's not sincere enough to do her friends(boys) favors, but she already knew what would happen if she help 'em....

• First off, that few boys will make the girl with the illness feels happy and feels like she'll always have bestfriend to lean on. That few boys pretty much "pretend" to be nice, to be very caring just like that girl's own brother. Very nicely done illusion to present actually. But the thing is, the illusion in having someone care for her just makes her illness degenerate.

• Secondly, that few boys consult all their troubles to the girl. Especially all their troubles in getting that girl's friends(the pretty girls). The girl sincerely respond and do anything possible to help that few beastly boys. But the girl with the illness is not a very good moderator. so,

• Lastly, that few beastly boys don't get the girl's friends(the pretty girls), and they(the boys) can always find a way to disappear from the girl's life silently in a very smooth move.

And that's just shallow.

That's the reason she really wants to say no to that favor. At first she doesn't mind at all. She thinks she can let go of this illness smooth and easily. But nowadays that girl's freakin tired. She's tired of being pushed around. She's tired of loosing friends that doesn't really want to be her friend. She's tired of those shallow creatures who "pretend" to be her close-even-best-friend just took her for granted.

And there she goes, lonely. Her body is trembling. She doesn't hear anything but a repugnant fakers who keep asking her to do things she doesn't wanna do. Doesn't have non-faker-someone-close to lean on. Struggling to fight her illness, alone.
That just blows.

sorry for the confusing terrible post

school?

Woke up this morning at 5 am, imagined already that today's gonna be worse. How could it not be? It's the first day of school for god sake. Arrived at school at 5.52 and headed toward the stairs. Before I ascended the stairs I met Pras. And the first thing he asked me was "hey did you study during the holiday for the midterm? what's the homework for today, any test?" and I was like "oh my god it's just the first day of school, geez". And what's on my mind was "oh god, the every-school-day-routines has started already?". I know I know in less than 4 days we'll face our goddamned midterm week, but can't we just take 5 seconds breathe before we work our butts off for the midterm?

Anyway, back to the story, well it's not a story it's a nonevent actually. We arrived at our lovely class XI IPA H. Then came Kevin, Cici and Ishi. Cici told us that maybe we'll go home early today. He asked one of our school's employee and got the information that we'll go home at 9 am. I felt so delighted. Then came Khaula. She heard about the glorious-story and she's so excited too. And then many of my class member came and suddenly they started writting. I wonder what they're doing, so Khaula asked people around us, and guess what. They did mathematics homework, golly gee what a good grief. Thank God I did that homework few weeks ago so I can sit back and relax. Everyone was so busy at that moment.

The bell rang, and Mrs. Tati came to our class. We all felt bewildered because Mrs. Tati wasn't our class teacher. And she took the attendance and she mention that we all have to go to the field, and shake our hands one to another in order to say sorry for all the sins that we have done. We were all so excited and regreted going to school today.
The handshake only took 30 minutes, and the school told us to go home. Right, go home, that's all. It's a miracle that 8 Senior High let us go. Usualy after handshake we go back to our class and study as usual. It really is a miracle. I can't believe I woke up at 5 am just for this. 30 minutes at school, oh what a joy.