Grateful

absurd

How's your life? mine? absurd
It's like a never ending routines, well whatever I'm not gonna whine, it doesn't even matter anyway

I've been cogitating for something I don't understand
some people say 'why?', some say 'why not?', and some say 'err I don't know, it's up to you'
well I'm the third one
I'm not assertive enough to decide something. It's like there's this two way path and I always bewilder and stuck in the middle of those. Nevertheless, I still have to and I did. I did choose, but from my record I always ended up at one path, but then all out of a sudden I have moved to the other path. And just small turbulence can make me move back to my old path. Even though I've struggled hard enough not to move, my body shivered and it went all blurry so I closed my eyes. And when I opened it, I've moved.
I know it sounded a bit superfluous, but it has been shackling my mind lately. Any thoughts?
well don't bother me anyway, I'm not really in predicament. I'm actually a bit happy these days, I don't know the reason why but I'm just h-a-p-p-y, well maybe it's because of *beep* :) (whoever *beep* is, you don't need to know :p)

well

Remember when I said "I'll write more often?".................. yeaaah that didn't happen
It's not that I'm busy, it's just that I've just lost the spirit to write
The blog that I admires the most had stopped blogging (I think) so it's like I have no direction on blogging
I have nothing interesting to write, I have no poetic words to type (as if I ever have)
but I've just read this amazing post (in Indonesian), enjoy this!

"Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian bukanlah tokoh romantis yang dapat melukis seperti Jack Dawson dalam Titanic, maka itu kami tidak pernah minta kalian melukis wajah kami dengan indah, paling tidak saat kami minta kalian menggambar wajah kami , gambarlah, meskipun hasil akhirnya akan seperti Jayko adik perempuan Giant dalam film Doraemon, tapi kami tahu, kalian berusaha.

Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian bukan peramal seperti Dedi Corbuzier yang dapat menebak isi pikiran kami atau apa yang kami inginkan saat kami hanya terdiam dan memasang wajah bosan, tapi saat itu kami hanya ingin tau, sesabar apakah kalian menghadapi kami jika kami sedang sangat menyebalkan seperti itu, kami tidak minta kalian mampu menebak keinginan kami, setidaknya bersabarlah pada kami dengan terus bertanya “jadi sekarang maunya gimana?”

Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian bukanlah penyair sekaliber Kahlil Gibran atau yang mampu menceritakan kisah romantis seperti Shakespeare, maka itu kami pun tidak meminta kalian mengirimi kami puisi cinta berisi kalimat angan-angan nan indah setiap hari atau setiap minggu, tapi setidaknya mengertilah bahwa setelah menonton film korea yang amat romantis itu, kami sangat berandai-andai kekasih kami dapat melakukan yang sama, meskipun isi puisi tersebut tidak sebagus kahlil Gibran, kami akan sangat senang –sungguh– jika kalian mengirimkannya dengan tulus dan niat. (bahkan meskipun ujungnya terdapat “hehe, aneh ya?”, kami akan benar-benar melayang, tuan)

Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian tidaklah setampan Leonardo Dicaprio, tapi tolong mengertilah itu sama sekali bukan masalah bagi kami, saat kami memuja-muja pemuda seperti itu, itulah pujian dan pujaan, tapi hati kami sungguhnya telah terikat oleh kalian, tuan. Mungkin saat itu kami hanya ingin tau apa pendapat kalian jika kami jatuh cinta pada orang lain, semacam mengukur tingkat kecemburuan kalian.

Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian tidaklah semenakjubkan John Nash atau sebrillian Isaac Newton, namun kami sebenarnya sangat menghargai bantuan kecil dari kalian meskipun hanya membantu mencarikan artikel dari internet, kami ingin menunjukkan pada kalian bahwa kalian lebih kami percayakan daripada Newton atau Galileo.

Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian tidaklah segagah Achilles pada film Troy, maka itu kami tidak pernah minta kalian mengikuti program peng six-pack an tubuh atau kontes L-men. Namun dengan kalian berhenti dan tidak pernah merokok, kami sangat akan memilih kalian dari Achilles manapun. Menyuruh kalian berhenti merokok adalah untuk meyakinkan diri kami bahwa kalian lebih gagah dari Achilles (karena tentu kalian akan kalah beradu pedang dengan Achilles bukan?).

Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian bukan Pangeran denga kuda putih yang akan melawan naga demi kami, karena kami pun bukan putri tidurnya, dan maka dari itu kami tidak pernah minta kalian melawan preman pasar yang pernah menggoda kami waktu lalu, tapi setidaknya, mengertilah tanpa kami harus minta, saat hujan lebat datang dan dirumah sedang mati lampu dan ayah ibu belum datang, kami hanya dapat mengandalkan kalian, maka itu temani kami walau hanya dengan sms dan telepon, karena menurut kami, berbincang dengan kalian adalah melegakan, maka itu jangan tradeoff (tukar) keadaan seperti itu dengan Game PES 2010 terbaru kalian itu (sangat mengesalkan! )

Kami, para wanita sungguh sebenarnya tau bahwa kalian bukanlah bayi yang harus diingatkan hal ini dan itu setiap waktunya, tapi mengertilah bahwa kami sangat merisaukan anda, kenapa kami mengingatkan kalian makan atau sembahyang, itu karena tepat saat itu, kami baru saja hendak makan atau sembahyang, maka itu saat kalian bertanya kembali atau mengingatkan kembali, kami akan jawab “iya, bentar lagi nih”

Kami, para wanita tau kalian bukanlah Romi Rafael yang pandai menyulap saputangan menjadi bunga, maka itu kami tidak pernah meminta hal hal semacam itu, namun mengertilah bahwa melihat bunga rose di pinggiran jalan itu menggoda hati kami, bahkan meski kami tidak suka bunga, pemberian kalian akan menjadi hal yang kami sukai, karena kami sebenarnya hanya sangat ingin menyimpan kalian saat itu, setelah malam kalian antar kami pulang, namun kami tahu kita harus berpisah saat itu.

Kami, para wanita tau kalian bukanlah Mr. Bean yang dapat membuat kami tertawa terbahak saat sedang bosan, maka itu jangan coba-coba menjadi juru selamat untuk mencoba membuat kami tertawa saat itu, karena kami tau kalian tidak mampu sekocak Mr. Bean dan malah hanya akan memperkeruh suasana, yang kami inginkan saat itu hanyalah memastikan kalian ada disamping kami saat masa-masa sulit meski hanya dengan senyuman menenangkan.

Kami, para wanita juga tau kalian bukanlah pemuda seperti Edward Cullen yang akan segera datang dengan Volvo saat kami diganggu oleh preman jalanan, namun setidaknya, pastikan kami aman bersama kalian saat itu dengan tidak membawa kami pulang terlalu larut dan mengantarkan kami sampai depan pintu rumah dan bertemu ayah ibu, (jangan hanya sampai depan gang, hey, tuan!)

Kami, para wanita tau kalian tidak akan bisa seperti ibu kami yang dapat menghentikan tangisan kami, namun tolong mengerti, saat kami menangis dihadapanmu, kami bukan sedang ingin dihentikan tangisannya, justru kami sangat ingin kalian dihadapan kami menampung berapa banyak air mata yang kami punya, atau sekedar melihat apa reaksi kalian melihat kami yang –menurut kami- akan terlihat jelek saat menangis

Kami, para wanita tau juga sebenarnya, bahwa kalian tidak akan punya jawaban yang benar atas pertanyaan, “aku gendut ya?”, kami sungguh tau, tapi saat itu kami hanya ingin tau, apa pendapat kalian tentang kami yang pagi tadi baru bercermin dan sedang merasa tidak secantik Kristen Stewart.

Kami tau, kalian adalah makhluk bodoh yang tidak peka dan terlalu lugu untuk percaya pada setiap hal yang kami katakan, tapi mengertilah bahwa saat kalian bertanya “baik-baik aja?” dan kami jawab “iya, aku baik-baik aja” itu adalah bahasa kami untuk menyatakan keadaan kami yang sedang tidak baik namun kami masih menganggap kalian adalah malaikat penyelamat yang mampu mengatasi ketidak-baik- baikan kami saat itu tanpa kami beritau, (tentu mestinya kalian sadari jika kami memang benar sedang baik-baik saja kami akan menambahkan perkataan seperti “iya aku baik-baik aja, malah tadi aku di kampus ketemu dengan dosen yang itu lho….*bla.bla. bla”)

Iya, kami sepertinya tau apa yang kalian pikirkan tentang kami yang begitu merepotkan. Tapi begitulah kami, akan selalu merepotkan kalian, tuan. Hal ini bukan sesuatu yang kami banggakan, namun inilah bahasa kami untuk mempercayakan hati kami pada kalian, jika kalian bukanlah pemuda yang kami percayakan dan kami butuhkan, tentu saja yang kami repotkan dan persulitkan bukan kalian. Kami makhluk yang amat perasa dan gampang merasa “tidak enak”. Kami enggan merepotkan “orang lain”.

Jika kami merepotkan dan menyusahkan, berarti kami menganggap anda bukanlah orang lain, tuan.

Kami tidak senang bermain-main, tuan pemuda. Maka tolong jaga hati yang kami percayakan ini. Kami mungkin mudah berbesar hati atau “geer”, tapi sekali kami menaruh hati kami pada satu pemuda, butuh waktu yang lebih lama dari menemukan lampu bohlam untuk menghilangkannya (bukan melupakan).

Kami akan sulit menerima hati baru setelah itu, karena kami harus membiasakan diri lagi. Padahal kami sudah terbiasa dengan anda, terbiasa melakukan semuanya dengan anda. Maka tolong, mengertilah tuan. Karena kami, wanita sungguh sangat tau sebenarnya kalian, pemuda, dapat mengatasi semua tingkah kami yang merepotkan ini."

source

I-don't-care

I haven't blog for like months? And it felt sucked, my writting skill was ruined. So I decided I'll write more often.
Life's so so. Nothing really special. Except the fact that I hate my brother even more and more each day. And sometimes I felt like some people in my life don't have any respect for me. It's not that I'm craving for respect. I don't. I just want them to at least cherish me as a human being too.
And for one of you, please, don't be such a stuck-up little person. You didn't do it by yourself, so don't take credit for it.
And for some group of people, if you don't want me to know what is going on inside that structure, then just count me out from the beginning. Don't blame me for not knowing anything, I've tried to ask, so so so many times, but you never told me what was going on, and you never actually listened to me. How many times a week I grumbled myself? Don't you realize how upset I am? Anyway, I-don't-care.

I wanna know you

When I saw you over there
I didn't mean to stare
But my mind was everywhere I wanna know you...

...I wanna go there where you go
I wanna find out what you know...

...You smile never shout
You stand out in a crowd
You make the best of every situation
Correct me if I'm wrong
You're fragile and you're strong
A beautiful and perfect combination...

I wanna know you - miley&archie

this is not pleasant, this is my period effect

Well well well, I'm getting a little bit emotional these days, and trust me it's really not pleasant having everyone around you makes you feel even worse.
Have you ever feel like you're mad at someone but you know you don't have any rights to be mad at that someone? Like it's some sort of iron or steel that hit you with no one throwing it at you?
yeah that's stink. And lately I've been having this emotion crank all the time.

I've been ignored by one of my closest friend(I think) which she do so because she thinks she has the important spot at one-of-the-so-called-organization. And she just do stuffs which I can't believe she did, like never actually listen to me at a meeting or somewhat at the organization. At that meeting we're all making a circle where she sits right in front of me deliberately and I couldn't hear what the meeting is about. What a mean brujas. And now she has this new friend which act like some puta, and that makes them perras puta.

And someone who supposed to give me driving lessons can't make it during this holiday, she can make it when my school has started, what does she expect? I learn how to drive in school months? hell no my parents will get furious.

And I just realize that this whole time this world has been really twisted. Why would people think that the outside reflect what's inside? They sounded like some bitches who don't know what's it like to be commented in a non good way.

I'm sorry this post is really not pleasant. And I don't really use the right grammar in this post because I'm too upset to even think, once again I'm sorry readers that this post is a disappointment.

I cried, do you?

di balik kisah seorang "papa"

---

Biasanya, bagi seorang anak perempuan yang sudah dewasa, yang sedang bekerja diperantauan, yang ikut suaminya merantau di luar kota atau luar negeri, yang sedang bersekolah atau kuliah jauh dari kedua orang tuanya.....

Akan sering merasa kangen sekali dengan Mamanya.

Lalu bagaimana dengan Papa?

Mungkin karena Mama lebih sering menelepon untuk menanyakan keadaanmu setiap hari,

tapi tahukah kamu, jika ternyata Papa-lah yang mengingatkan Mama untuk menelponmu?


Mungkin dulu sewaktu kamu kecil, Mama-lah yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita atau berdongeng,

tapi tahukah kamu, bahwa sepulang Papa bekerja dan dengan wajah lelah Papa selalu menanyakan pada Mama tentang kabarmu dan apa yang kau lakukan seharian?


Pada saat dirimu masih seorang anak perempuan kecil......

Papa biasanya mengajari putri kecilnya naik sepeda.

Dan setelah Papa mengganggapmu bisa, Papa akan melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu...

Kemudian Mama bilang : "Jangan dulu Papa, jangan dilepas dulu roda bantunya" ,

Mama takut putri manisnya terjatuh lalu terluka....

Tapi sadarkah kamu?

Bahwa Papa dengan yakin akan membiarkanmu, menatapmu, dan menjagamu mengayuh sepeda dengan seksama karena dia tahu putri kecilnya PASTI BISA.


Pada saat kamu menangis merengek meminta boneka atau mainan yang baru, Mama menatapmu iba.

Tetapi Papa akan mengatakan dengan tegas : "Boleh, kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang"

Tahukah kamu, Papa melakukan itu karena Papa tidak ingin kamu menjadi anak yang manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dapat dipenuhi?


Saat kamu sakit pilek, Papa yang terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak dengan berkata :

"Sudah di bilang! kamu jangan minum air dingin!".

Berbeda dengan Mama yang memperhatikan dan menasihatimu dengan lembut.

Ketahuilah, saat itu Papa benar-benar mengkhawatirkan keadaanmu.


Ketika kamu sudah beranjak remaja....

Kamu mulai menuntut pada Papa untuk dapat izin keluar malam, dan Papa bersikap tegas dan mengatakan: "Tidak boleh!".

Tahukah kamu, bahwa Papa melakukan itu untuk menjagamu?

Karena bagi Papa, kamu adalah sesuatu yang sangat - sangat luar biasa berharga..


Setelah itu kamu marah pada Papa, dan masuk ke kamar sambil membanting pintu...

Dan yang datang mengetok pintu dan membujukmu agar tidak marah adalah Mama....

Tahukah kamu, bahwa saat itu Papa memejamkan matanya dan menahan gejolak dalam batinnya,

Bahwa Papa sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu, Tapi lagi-lagi dia HARUS menjagamu?


Ketika saat seorang cowok mulai sering menelponmu, atau bahkan datang ke rumah untuk menemuimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia.... :')

Papa sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kamu sedang ngobrol berdua di ruang tamu..

Sadarkah kamu, kalau hati Papa merasa cemburu?


Saat kamu mulai lebih dipercaya, dan Papa melonggarkan sedikit peraturan untuk keluar rumah untukmu, kamu akan memaksa untuk melanggar jam malamnya.

Maka yang dilakukan Papa adalah duduk di ruang tamu, dan menunggumu pulang dengan hati yang sangat khawatir...

Dan setelah perasaan khawatir itu berlarut - larut...

Ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang larut malam hati Papa akan mengeras dan Papa memarahimu.. .

Sadarkah kamu, bahwa ini karena hal yang di sangat ditakuti Papa akan segera datang?

"Bahwa putri kecilnya akan segera pergi meninggalkan Papa"


Setelah lulus SMA, Papa akan sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang Dokter atau Insinyur.

Ketahuilah, bahwa seluruh paksaan yang dilakukan Papa itu semata - mata hanya karena memikirkan masa depanmu nanti...

Tapi toh Papa tetap tersenyum dan mendukungmu saat pilihanmu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan Papa


Ketika kamu menjadi gadis dewasa....

Dan kamu harus pergi kuliah dikota lain...

Papa harus melepasmu di bandara.

Tahukah kamu bahwa badan Papa terasa kaku untuk memelukmu?

Papa hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini - itu, dan menyuruhmu untuk berhati-hati. .

Padahal Papa ingin sekali menangis seperti Mama dan memelukmu erat-erat.

Yang Papa lakukan hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya, dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "Jaga dirimu baik-baik ya sayang".

Papa melakukan itu semua agar kamu KUAT...kuat untuk pergi dan menjadi dewasa.


Disaat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah Papa.

Papa pasti berusaha keras mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dengan teman-temannya yang lain.


Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan Papa tahu ia tidak bisa memberikan yang kamu inginkan...

Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut Papa adalah : "Tidak.... Tidak bisa!"

Padahal dalam batin Papa, Ia sangat ingin mengatakan "Iya sayang, nanti Papa belikan untukmu".

Tahukah kamu bahwa pada saat itu Papa merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?


Saatnya kamu diwisuda sebagai seorang sarjana.

Papa adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu.

Papa akan tersenyum dengan bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yang tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"


Sampai saat seorang teman Lelakimu datang ke rumah dan meminta izin pada Papa untuk mengambilmu darinya.

Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin..

Karena Papa tahu.....

Bahwa lelaki itulah yang akan menggantikan posisinya nanti.


Dan akhirnya....

Saat Papa melihatmu duduk di Panggung Pelaminan bersama seseorang Lelaki yang di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya, Papa pun tersenyum bahagia....

Apakah kamu mengetahui, di hari yang bahagia itu Papa pergi kebelakang panggung sebentar, dan menangis?

Papa menangis karena papa sangat berbahagia, kemudian Papa berdoa....

Dalam lirih doanya kepada Tuhan, Papa berkata: "Ya Allah tugasku telah selesai dengan baik....

Putri kecilku yang lucu dan kucintai telah menjadi wanita yang cantik....

Bahagiakanlah ia bersama suaminya..."


Setelah itu Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatanganmu bersama cucu-cucunya yang sesekali datang untuk menjenguk...

Dengan rambut yang telah dan semakin memutih....

Dan badan serta lengan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya....

Papa telah menyelesaikan tugasnya....


Papa, Ayah, Bapak, atau Abah kita...

Adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat...

Bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis...

Dia harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. .

Dan dia adalah yang orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "KAMU BISA" dalam segala hal..


...............................
I cried, do you?

source

Fell

I'm sick of being alone


I'm ashamed of myself


I feel stupid that I fell for something that I shouldn't be fallen for


but I do know one thing
I'm strong and I know it, pain won't hurt me like yesterday did

RKPS

When the amphibia attacks

sorry long time no post
got no mood, got no time so well yeah haha
my mid-semester report card went quite well, I got the 9th rank and my math physics biology and chemistry score is quite nice. Although I can't be happy, yet. I still have to fight hard for final exam on December, and I'm sooooo lazy to study.
Hmm well last week there was a runaway frog at my lovely class XI IPA H, everyone jumped to their table, some of the boys ran out of our class instantly, it was quite funny and exclaimed actually haha. And Diana bravely capture that frog. She was so cool hahaha.
oh I haven't tell you about tesis long long time ago, well the topic has expired soooo, sorry I'm too lazy to post it hahaha
well gotta do my assignments, cheerio

Perspective

There's a situation where stars are not the thing you wished for
There's the time when you wish for something modest, something not too complicated
There's always something missing in your life, and stars are not the proper thing to fill the spot

Sometimes, you need a one-person-to-rely-on
Someone who doesn't really get you all the time, but realizes when something's wrong about you in a very quick gaze
Someone who never knows what wise-enough-stuffs-to-say when you're consulting your problems, but can always make you realizes there's still a shed of light to see

It doesn't really matter if that one person commented something really-unbelievably-sarcastic on you that it makes you wanna got hit by a truck
If it's the way that person show how he/she cares about you, then that's it
The point is that person care

Better than people who hide behind some lie about caring-for-us
They pretend, oh boy they pretend real real good
But when you're down, you need something more than people around you feel sorry for you
You don't need people who say with their mouth that they got your back no matter what when all that is a big fat lie
When all that is just to use you for their own business, they shouldn't really bother saying anything

You'll need someone who truthfully say with their heart, "I'll always be there for you"
That someone doesn't need a mouth to say it
That person can show you that he/she will always be there for you

Favor Person

Yesterday, few things happened to me. So many tragedies that merely turn my head crying to sleep. People do favors one to another, but should it be continuous all the time? Lunatic person don't know what's around them. What other people need and what other people care. I am not lunatic. I do care what other people need, I do try to help them. But they just can't discover the truth, they keep opposing the truth. The truth make 'em become obsessed and overbearing. Sometimes it just makes them a two-faced-god-damned bastard. The thing that makes it harder is when you're suddenly the filling of a friends-for-favors-only sandwich. Meet the bread. It looks delicious from the outside, boy the texture is so like heaven, smells so great it could make you fly to the air. But once it goes down your throat, it'll make you choke hard and harder each day. Right now I'm telling you I ain't kidding. The choking hurts so bad, seems like the bread is dunking your head right into the toilet right at that moment.
It hurts, a lot.

Story of a girl with swollen eyes

A girl woke up with swollen eyes, she cried herself to sleep last night. She didn't catch the reason why, nor nobody else. But she pretty much sure there are too many burden to endure in her life. She has an illness. That illness is just dire : she can't say no to anyone. People around her can always compel her to do something that she doesn't wanna do. She's forced to live with obligations that she shouldn't have. But stupidly, she always says yes. The word that makes people around her pleased but inside, she's desperately screaming.

That illness just can't be cured. That illness brings suffers in someone who have it, but joy for people around them. When you try to fight that illness, you'll feel guilty. Like everyone around you just hate you. In your eyes you'll see everyone starring and throwing a very unpleasant abhorrent gaze.

Beastly, there are few people(particularly boys) who dare to abuse that girl. People might say that girl is not very appealing. But few of her friends(the pretty girls) have this crazy-not-so-secret-admirer. And just like you guessed, that few beastly people(boys) who have the crazy-not-so-secret-crush asked her to talk her friend into going out with him. The illness started acting up. She really want to say no, she does. She really struggled hardly to do so. But she just can't face the unpleasant abhorrent gaze. It's not that the girl's not sincere enough to do her friends(boys) favors, but she already knew what would happen if she help 'em....

• First off, that few boys will make the girl with the illness feels happy and feels like she'll always have bestfriend to lean on. That few boys pretty much "pretend" to be nice, to be very caring just like that girl's own brother. Very nicely done illusion to present actually. But the thing is, the illusion in having someone care for her just makes her illness degenerate.

• Secondly, that few boys consult all their troubles to the girl. Especially all their troubles in getting that girl's friends(the pretty girls). The girl sincerely respond and do anything possible to help that few beastly boys. But the girl with the illness is not a very good moderator. so,

• Lastly, that few beastly boys don't get the girl's friends(the pretty girls), and they(the boys) can always find a way to disappear from the girl's life silently in a very smooth move.

And that's just shallow.

That's the reason she really wants to say no to that favor. At first she doesn't mind at all. She thinks she can let go of this illness smooth and easily. But nowadays that girl's freakin tired. She's tired of being pushed around. She's tired of loosing friends that doesn't really want to be her friend. She's tired of those shallow creatures who "pretend" to be her close-even-best-friend just took her for granted.

And there she goes, lonely. Her body is trembling. She doesn't hear anything but a repugnant fakers who keep asking her to do things she doesn't wanna do. Doesn't have non-faker-someone-close to lean on. Struggling to fight her illness, alone.
That just blows.

sorry for the confusing terrible post

school?

Woke up this morning at 5 am, imagined already that today's gonna be worse. How could it not be? It's the first day of school for god sake. Arrived at school at 5.52 and headed toward the stairs. Before I ascended the stairs I met Pras. And the first thing he asked me was "hey did you study during the holiday for the midterm? what's the homework for today, any test?" and I was like "oh my god it's just the first day of school, geez". And what's on my mind was "oh god, the every-school-day-routines has started already?". I know I know in less than 4 days we'll face our goddamned midterm week, but can't we just take 5 seconds breathe before we work our butts off for the midterm?

Anyway, back to the story, well it's not a story it's a nonevent actually. We arrived at our lovely class XI IPA H. Then came Kevin, Cici and Ishi. Cici told us that maybe we'll go home early today. He asked one of our school's employee and got the information that we'll go home at 9 am. I felt so delighted. Then came Khaula. She heard about the glorious-story and she's so excited too. And then many of my class member came and suddenly they started writting. I wonder what they're doing, so Khaula asked people around us, and guess what. They did mathematics homework, golly gee what a good grief. Thank God I did that homework few weeks ago so I can sit back and relax. Everyone was so busy at that moment.

The bell rang, and Mrs. Tati came to our class. We all felt bewildered because Mrs. Tati wasn't our class teacher. And she took the attendance and she mention that we all have to go to the field, and shake our hands one to another in order to say sorry for all the sins that we have done. We were all so excited and regreted going to school today.
The handshake only took 30 minutes, and the school told us to go home. Right, go home, that's all. It's a miracle that 8 Senior High let us go. Usualy after handshake we go back to our class and study as usual. It really is a miracle. I can't believe I woke up at 5 am just for this. 30 minutes at school, oh what a joy.

Happy birthday my ex-chairmate woohoooowww

her face is elastic, she loves to jape, she's shrewd, guess what? it's her bornday! wiwiwiwiw
who's she anyway? might as well see for yourself

(clue : it's her on the left side)

now isn't she adorable?

full name : Hasya Amana Riyanto Sofyan Sutan Ponda.....(I can't remember the last one hahaha)
nick name : elastic face, well just go by Hasya these days
birth : 30 September 1993
super-power : memorizing words, lots and lots of words
achievements : 4 times national elastic-face competition winner, 5 times national shrill-voiced championship winner

She was my friend at elementary, and we got seperated by 5 years, and we met again at 8 Senior High. And unluckily she had to face 6 months of burden in being my chairmate. She had to face my tendency rambling for 6 months, can you imagine?

well I got nothin more to say, just
HAPPY SWEET 16th BIRTHDAY MY DEAR HASYAAAAA, WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST

sincerely, Ratih

cutest teeth ever

you know what, you MUST SEE THIS!







god aren't they the cutest?
grab the adventures of ickle and Lardee here
I don't know who he/she is(the writer), I got the link from my junior high friend, and when I opened it, I was like aww this is the best and cutest pictures ever---~~ I guarantee you will receive a breath taking kids-story-kind when you open the link
try it!

waste

Nothing excites me nowadays. In fact things seems to be boring these days. That's why you just see boring posts like this one. I suppose I should study for the dire-mid-term-weeks thingy, but it just does not feel right to study at holidays. I go online, and watch movies everyday. I actually won the all time movie marathon award ye know haha. Well perhaps I'm hitting the physics and chemistry later on.
ugh I really got nothing to write about. don't worry soon or later I'll delete this garbage post.

bukpus dimanamana

ya makin deket lebaran makin banyak acara bukpus bareng which means makin jarang solat tarawih di masjid -_______- huahahaha tp seru siiiih

bukpus 1 : XI IPA H
yang ini seru abis anak XI IPA H gaul gaul fotonya ada 130an lebih wuihihihi sabi kan tuh XI IPA H emang KOMPAK (Y)
cowok2 XI IPA H tiba2 jadi artis dadakan, semua minta foto ya sama cici lah sama hanifi sama pras wah rame deh pokoknya, terus makannya pake sop buah ENAK BUNGUT, risolnya cahyo MANTAP GAN, ayam lemes (oke ini sebenernya ayam keremes tapi gara2 keremesnya udah lembek gitu jadi gue namai ini ayam lemes) trs ada macem2 lagi ada puding buah gitu, ada kue apaa gitu, trs minumnya ada aqua dan teh kotak. terus kita yang dateng banyaaaak banget.
BUKPUS XI IPA H MEMANG PALING ASYIK!
ini dia foto2nya







the hungry omnivores hahaha


(entah kenapa di foto ini gue merasa muka gue mirip esther ASTAGHFIRULLOOOOH JANGAN SAMPEEEE)





yak ini adalah saat dimana cowok2 jadi badut ancol dadakan, semua cewek2 minta foto2 sama doi ahahahaha


with my dear chairmate khaula (aww) :D







THIS IS US!! yippieeee

snapshots by : Aldisa and Khaula's camera

bukpus selanjutnya (bukpus 2) adalah BUKPUS TATRAAAAAA yihiiiiyyy
bukpus tatra diselenggarakan di rumah afifah yang berlokasi di daerah cipinang. gue berangkat sama ayu dan putri dijemput mobil putri di rumah mutia trs pulang naik mobil fafa dianter sampai rumah. (gamodal? yak betul) hahahaha
dress code : white polite
bukpusnya seruuuu bangeeeeettt, tatra 2012 niat2 bangeeeet selamat yaaa tatra 2012 sayaaaang :D
mereka bikin pin tatra gitu lucu deeeh, trs bikin SPANDUK!!!! trs kameranya betebaran dimana2 fotonya ada banyak hahaha trs kita main tebak siapa aku seru deeeeh. ini foto yg bareng2nya aja yaaaaa


ini dia SPANDUKNYA niat banget kaaaan awww tatra 2012 maaci yaaaaa :)




hiyah yang ini pada belom siap hahaha

lihat di sebelah riri ada anak kecil, itu adeknya afifah yang bernama ama. dia didoktrin oleh riri buat bikin geng namanya "aloha girls" HAHAHA


yang ini lagi main tebak siapa aku! asik deh hahaha

(Y)

ini dia tatra SMAN 8 :D love you all

snapshots by : tatra 2012's cameras

bukpus 3 : HARI KELAHIRAN GUEEEE AWWW
jadi hari ini gue sore2 ke sekolah ngumpul sama teman2 xb, terus lanjut ke futcy
di futcy nontonin cowok2 main bola, buka puasa, solat aaaaand arum dan hasya tiba2 dateng membawakan gue kue coklat bertuliskan "HAPPY 15 BOLIS DAY" awwwwww love you all :)))
yah buat yang bertanya bolis itu apa tanya aja sama anak rohis oke? hahaha


it's me! the birthday girl huihihihi :D


yak bisa dilihat ini kuenya, betapa adorablenya arum dan hasya dengan menuliskan "Happy 15 BOLIS day" huihihihi but I love it :D

this is me making wish

okay confession time, gue gabisa memotong kue.................hahahahahaha jadi gue motong cuma formalitas doang, sisanya potong sendiri2 hahahahahah



sebenernya gue gak tega makan tulisan happy BOLIS day nya, tapi daripada meleleh yaaaa apa boleh buat hahahaha

nah mulai yang ini foto2nya di hokben




(sebenernya ada foto gue sama anak2 kecil yg gue paksa2 buat foto sama gue tp blm di upload, ntar gue tambahin ya hahahaha)

ini dia x-b!!!

snapshots by : Arum's camera

yaaaa that's all, had a blast with all of em huihihih LOVE YOU ALL MUAAAAH :D